All Good

Life has a way of going in all kinds of directions.

Things have never really been easy. Or simple. And not always fun. But, I have to say that I am thankful for every experience, even the really bad ones. Sometimes I think that these things in life happen for a reason to us. We have a choice to what path we take from the moments that we wake in the morning, until the seconds we drift off to sleep in our beds. It seems that it is then up to us to decide what path to take and travel down. Its like those adventure books where you decide the outcome. I used to love reading those. Sometimes though, I would cheat and check both pages before choosing, just to make it to the end. The downfall to that is that in life, there is no way to read ahead to chose the better path, all you have is your faith.

Growing up was not all roses and daffodils. I am grateful for that. It has molded me into who I am today. Tulips and all. I think though that in life, there are also people who can roll with it, and those who need a little guideance. In my mind growing up, when bad things would happen, or I'd be in a situation that I wasn't preparred for, I felt alone, and that I didn't have anyone I could turn to. The one time I did, it turned into a hot mess and made no difference at all. People swept it under the rug and there is collected dust. For me though, it grew. The fear, the solidarity, the trust issues, that's when it all began I think. I emersed myself in school. That was my refuge. All the things I wanted to do, and was unable to do, I pretended that I was doing. In my room, with the door closed, I would be whatever my dream for that day was. Through all this, aloneness, I always felt, well, not alone too. I have always believed that God was there with me. I never said, "God, why can't you protect me, stop all the bad", I would just feel at peace with myself. God gave me what I needed, strength, self motivation, and love.

As I sit in my dining room this morning, watching the sun wake up, I can't help but think that this has been my life. New days, new opportunities to do new things. Holding on to negativity only holds you back. Why restrain yourself? Why set limitations on what you can do to better yourself or your family. If you feel alone, your not, today is not yesterday, so you must keep trying, keep pushing forward, and never give in or give up.

I know its not as easy as I write this, but how will you know your full potential if you don't even try. There are days that I am overwhelmed with my family. The kids are on my last nerve, there is drama with this and that, and I just want to run away and drown myself in a margarita or two. Funny thing is, I don't. Inside I am like a roller coaster ride, going every which way, on the outside I look like the person taking the ticket before you get on the ride. I know I have no choice but to take what my life has given to me, to make due, and to manage it as best as I can. Running or hiding will not take it away, facing it is what will make me stronger.

You know all those saying, what won't kill you, makes you stronger...no guts, no glory...do unto others as you would have done unto you...and so on, but have you really heard the message that's really behind those? They say..you can do it! Your better than that! Don't settle! Amazing isn't it. I just realized that myself.

So, as I finish this in the afternoon, from having a full day with my little one, and an even fuller night of homework, dinner, and the kids, I want to let you all know that you are fabulous. You can achieve your goals however large or small, and that who you are today was molded by your past and you can enhance it, change it, or embrace it, but whatever you do, there is always someone who loves you no matter what!