Grape Ape...ha ha...not yet...

Life changes daily. Things change, people change, trends change..but one thing that never changes is change. I'm not talkin about the change in your pocket or on your dresser either. Some can handle it, some deal with it, and some pretend its not happening...for me, I try to roll with it with the least amount of over thinking as possible...well, most of the time. So...here is what's new in the world of pentabulousness...

Baby number 5!!! Yeppers...preggers here...at 9 weeks and the baby is the size of a grape! I went on the website babycenter.com and I was blown away at how they have a slide show with a quarter about how big your baby is compared to a quarter...apparently by 40 weeks...it'll be a pumpkin! I think that is kinda crazy...but it was interesting...leeks, lemons, and banana's...wow...other than that..today was bittersweet...

I will start my senior year at ASU come August...pretty excited, then my internship in January..or perhaps the summer, but the baby is due in February so, I have to really hammer out what will work and what wont. Thankfully though, I have some pretty awesome friends in my life who are more than willing to help me out and be there for me so that I can accomplish this great goal. My family is supportive too, but over 1700 miles away doesn't really help too much.

My lil naughties start school on the 25th of this month..so very excited for that! I need a quiet house again for a bit. Love them, but some days I just want some quiet time. They are going to be going into 10th, 7th, and 5th grades...I can't believe it...its gone by sooo fast!

Next week is full of appointments and busy. Today was my last day volunteering at the hospital until October...gonna miss that place...and my boss lady there. She is sooo awesome too!! I can say that she is my mentor. A great lady, very smart, and honest, and straightforward, who I feel has taught me more than my classes have! Crazy huh. However, she will be having her baby as soon as tuesday if not sooner so congrats to her and her hubby!

Speakin of hubby's...I think mine is pretty great. He stresses a lil here and there but overall he wants to make me happy and you know the saying..."happy wife...happy life!" Yup, that's what I'm talkin bout! Haha...no but seriously, he drives about 2 hours a day to work and then home and its so much better than him working in Illinois while we are all here in Arizona! Found out too that the thought of us moving to the midwest again makes my family happy, that's where they are, but my friends were very upset...even to the point of tears! Awe...I felt so loved..Cause you know that stuff just touches a pregnant womans cords....Now...

Emotions...O...M...Goodness!!! Talk about an emotional hot mess! I am all over the place with feelings and emotions and ideas, etc. Thoughts are not coming out all in  order as you may tell from this post as I am a bit scattered, but its the first trimester so it will be better in a few weeks, or I will....well...cry...geez. All this crazy talk...ha ha...anyway....

That's gonna be all for now...I realized after reading though this that its all over the place so my apologies. Hey though...what's a girl to do in my situation...well, till next time when I can think rationally.....

<3 Penz

I DiD iT!

Spring semester ended with a bang. I cried, I laughed, I smiled...I...cried some more, but I managed to pull through with : ) grades! I went 2 days after finals and decided to start my summer class, but that one I am looking forward too! Enough about that...the kids are started to get out of school this week, and I have many plans around the house. The hospital is going well, and things are overall looking up. Not everything is perfect, then again, that's life.

Memorial Weekend is fast approaching and we are gearing up for camping! We started buying our goods and this weekend we are rollin up to the lake to see where we can camp for the following weekend. So far all systems are GO!

So, for now, this is all I got...LOL...stay tuned for the next episode. :)

Hittin it...

Okay, get your minds out of the gutter...LOL...gonna start hittin the gym again...

It's been a while since I have spent time with my old friend..the gym. I have felt the depression and withdrawl of not going. Crying here and there, stress just building, worry compounding...but, soon I will be back to my regularly scheduled program..3 days, at least an hour, and some thinner fitter, buns, thighs, and belly.

School is a consumption of my time, as well as the kids and house. I feel so bad that my husband has stated a few times over the past weekend that he feels as though I have ignored him, its not you baby, its school. Luckily he understands what I'm going though, so on top of time for everyone and everything, I have to step it up, get on schedule and really make it happen with the gym so I feel better, in general, and about myself.

So, on this cloudy 90% chance of rain Monday in Arizona, I am going to load up my lil girl, and head to the gym, where I will exert myself and finish my day with a clear mind...and homework assignments ready to tackle...

Get your grooves on and make it happen for yourself...
xoxo

Wow...been a long time..

I read my new years goals and realized that this was one I had forgotten about doing...the blog. My little space in the webworld were I can spit my game. All joking aside, its been a long time, for many things, and they are all falling into place now, and I couldn't be happier.

After 15 months of being away from the family, my hubby is home and working in Tucson, commuting home everynight to be with us. It's an adjustment, but well worth it. I came home from school last night and I could touch him...I don't think I'll ever take that for granted again.

School is going pretty good...apparently 400 level classes are meant to be hard. :) That's the concensus anyway. However, when I stop stressin about it all and just do it, it goes pretty smooth. It's hard at times to manage a family and go to school full time, especially when you have to drive 50 miles just to get there, but in a year, none of what I am going through now will matter and it will be the best for the family as a whole. Just gotta keep on truckin as my hubby would say.

On the kid front, all is well...Jordan is on the Junior Varsity team for the high school, his games are all over the place, hopefully we can make it to a few of them...they range from an hour to 3 hours away..Jessica finished volleyball..she was pretty good for just starting out, and she has a choir concert at school tomorrow night. We will all go to that, dad's first event to go to since coming back home. Jake is Jake, crazy little guy who needs a little disicpline every now and then, and Lauren is growing up as fast as ever. I can't believe its been four years..she cracks me up...however, when it comes to my kids, I have to say, I am thankful, and grateful to have them. Even when I want to run away from them on days and pull my hair out, I still love them and don't know what I'd do without them..

So then, here I am on Hump Day, going to have Lo's friend come over, I owe Michelle H. big time for all that she is doing for my family right now. The upside is that we are gaining a great friendship, for the whole family. Then I'm going to try some yoga, do some homework, clean the house, and start finding places to put T's clothes...the weekend is fast approaching and spring break will follow...I can't wait to have a small break and catch up on homework and reading...and my family. :)

All Good

Life has a way of going in all kinds of directions.

Things have never really been easy. Or simple. And not always fun. But, I have to say that I am thankful for every experience, even the really bad ones. Sometimes I think that these things in life happen for a reason to us. We have a choice to what path we take from the moments that we wake in the morning, until the seconds we drift off to sleep in our beds. It seems that it is then up to us to decide what path to take and travel down. Its like those adventure books where you decide the outcome. I used to love reading those. Sometimes though, I would cheat and check both pages before choosing, just to make it to the end. The downfall to that is that in life, there is no way to read ahead to chose the better path, all you have is your faith.

Growing up was not all roses and daffodils. I am grateful for that. It has molded me into who I am today. Tulips and all. I think though that in life, there are also people who can roll with it, and those who need a little guideance. In my mind growing up, when bad things would happen, or I'd be in a situation that I wasn't preparred for, I felt alone, and that I didn't have anyone I could turn to. The one time I did, it turned into a hot mess and made no difference at all. People swept it under the rug and there is collected dust. For me though, it grew. The fear, the solidarity, the trust issues, that's when it all began I think. I emersed myself in school. That was my refuge. All the things I wanted to do, and was unable to do, I pretended that I was doing. In my room, with the door closed, I would be whatever my dream for that day was. Through all this, aloneness, I always felt, well, not alone too. I have always believed that God was there with me. I never said, "God, why can't you protect me, stop all the bad", I would just feel at peace with myself. God gave me what I needed, strength, self motivation, and love.

As I sit in my dining room this morning, watching the sun wake up, I can't help but think that this has been my life. New days, new opportunities to do new things. Holding on to negativity only holds you back. Why restrain yourself? Why set limitations on what you can do to better yourself or your family. If you feel alone, your not, today is not yesterday, so you must keep trying, keep pushing forward, and never give in or give up.

I know its not as easy as I write this, but how will you know your full potential if you don't even try. There are days that I am overwhelmed with my family. The kids are on my last nerve, there is drama with this and that, and I just want to run away and drown myself in a margarita or two. Funny thing is, I don't. Inside I am like a roller coaster ride, going every which way, on the outside I look like the person taking the ticket before you get on the ride. I know I have no choice but to take what my life has given to me, to make due, and to manage it as best as I can. Running or hiding will not take it away, facing it is what will make me stronger.

You know all those saying, what won't kill you, makes you stronger...no guts, no glory...do unto others as you would have done unto you...and so on, but have you really heard the message that's really behind those? They say..you can do it! Your better than that! Don't settle! Amazing isn't it. I just realized that myself.

So, as I finish this in the afternoon, from having a full day with my little one, and an even fuller night of homework, dinner, and the kids, I want to let you all know that you are fabulous. You can achieve your goals however large or small, and that who you are today was molded by your past and you can enhance it, change it, or embrace it, but whatever you do, there is always someone who loves you no matter what!

Count it?...Yep, almost over it..

It's a new year, 7 days in, and guess what...this calorie counting business is on my last nerve. I guess it stems from the disappointment I received from the fact that a cheap margarita cooler was 260 calories. Yes, i know, life is not about the drinking alcoholic beverages, but once in a while I enjoy some, and I don't want them to stick to my bum.

I know its good to have a calorie goal, to lose weight, to be healthy, etc. However, yesterday I found that I was eating to reach my peak intake...bad news. I ate so much, now I'm super bloated and feel like a heffalump. For real.

So, the next question, what to do now. First, I'm not gonna log after every meal..just at the end of the night. That way I don't obsess over what  I ate and just focus on eating better during the day, making better choices.

Painfully simple

The daily agenda today started off clear..too bad it has ended with me laying in bed, blogging with a knee covered in icy hot..on fire!

Wait..now its cooling down. Well, on with it I suppose. I had the hardest time waking this morning. Alarm clocks, kids, hubbys call, just lift myself up off the couch. Literally. I must have had some super motivation at the gym monday, because I was so sore that I was unable to move my arms, and my chest, goodness! All I can say is that I made it happen alright. A little icy hot and some breakfast later and BAM! Back in action. Was heading out to the gym when I locked the front door and remembered that my iPod was on the entertainment center, unlocked the door, went to rush in BOOM! my knee went straight into the door frame, direct hit to the knee cap...did i mention I was going to the gym to run?! yeah, I'm on a mission to run 3 miles straight without being winded by may...so far, i'm up to a mile and a quarter..guess I'll really have to work on it when I can run well again.

So, needless to say, I did the elliptical, didn't feel a thing, until i got off and tried to walk down the stairs..mmm yeah, not a good idea. Came home and I bathed in the icy hot. I think I bruised the bone. It hurts bad. The plus to all this? I love icy hot, hate the pain, love the feel. Weird. I also love the smell. So, here I am dilapitated in bed. My lips are waxed in carmex, my face has been slothed with antiaging cream, icy hot on my arms and knee, lotion on my other leg..its dry bad, foot cream caked on my feetsies, and I'm lookin pretty much like a hot mess.

Luckily, tomorrow is a new day. Not sure what it holds, I just hope I'm able to hold on. :)

So goodnight and until tomorrow...